Loves shopping....

She still thinks that everyone orders everything from catalogs. Everything.

Really enjoys art...

She may or may not be getting a statue of my husbands head for us for Christmas. I can't wait to open that box.

Likes to share her heritage....

Once wrote out a family tree for me. She went back seven generations. Unfortunately, she knew no ones names past her grandparents. Instead of just stopping, she kept going and listed 16 great great grand parents as " ???? Born ? - Died ?". Very informative.

Cares about her neighbors...

She is still feuding with a life long friend and neighbor over a line spray painted in the road. Apparently there is some confusion between markings from road crews and a possible link to a drug ring using a spray painted line in the road as a covert indication of their presence and operation on their street.

Has seen places...

She loved her extended visit in Holland. She told me in great detail about the tulips, her friend's trip to the hospital, and the long drive home. Yes... Drive. She spoke for an hour and failed to mention she was talking about Holland, Michigan rather than the country. I am sure she found my story from my visit to actual Holland confusing.

Keeps up with her finances....

She keeps her receipts for everything. This came in handy when she was screaming at her brother about some wood and sandpaper purchased over a decade ago. She won that argument.

Is a collector...

Has kept every greeting card given to her for the past twenty five years...

has a complex personality.....

She closely resembles, in physical appearances AND personality traits, the mother from "Everybody Loves Raymond" and Maxine, the grumpy old woman from greeting cards.

once tried to give me...

A jumpsuit from the 1970s. It was black and white polka dots and polyester. It in no way resembled anything I (or any normal person) would ever wear today or any time in the future (except for maybe as a Halloween costume). She not only insulted my taste in clothes by attempting to give it to me but she also added "I wore this when I was younger. You would look great in it if you can fit into it. You are a lot larger than I ever was." (I was 6 months pregnant at the time and still a size 6)......

likes to be prepared...

She loves Sam's Club because she can buy bulk quantities of her kitty supplies. Unfortunately she can not pick up the ridiculously large bags of litter so we must do it for her.


MISSION: Fill up the entire car with cat litter for my MIL, leave the store without being recognized by anyone, and deliver a half ton of litter to crazy cat lady.

This is an actual photo taken of our vehicle loaded down with cat litter the last time we went to visit her.

loves shopping....

She loves it so much actually she always makes a list of things we "need" shortly after she arrives for a visit.

loves good organization...

Upon arriving home from the hospital after giving birth to my first son, she had reorganized some of my cabinets, a closet, and a portion of the nursery. She is not allowed in our home anymore without direct supervision.

is in tune with meteorological events...

She is SO in tune with weather events that her doctor told her to take anti-anxiety meds if there is going to be a storm in her vicinity.

Loves taking pictures...

She said during her last visit, "I need a good family picture. You (my husband) stand over there with the boys while I take this picture." I guess I'm not part of the family. Lol

Is the life of the party...

Has been known to flash her chest when she has a few drinks....

Loves the holidays...

She finds it necessary to have separate celebratory salt and pepper shakers for each recognized holiday. She has repeatedly attempted to pass this tradition down to is.

Once mailed me...

Cleaning products. With sticky notes attached to them instructing me on what parts of my house were dirty and which product to use where.

Keeps in touch with people...

She was nice enough to send my husbands ex-girlfriend birthday gifts AFTER my husband and I were married. (is that weird??? It isn't like they were even friends anymore after the break up...)

Remembers birthdays...

She always remembers to send us nice cards from herself..... And the cats.

Is an animal lover...

She loves anything and everything cats.

Loves helping me decorate...

She gave me a magazine this week full of home decor items. She said it was "the kind of stuff you like." These are ACTUAL photos from said magazine.

Likes good entertainment...

Once bought tickets for us (me, my husband, and herself) to go to a dinosaur show that involved puppets. We were the only people there without a child or a mentally handicapped person. :(

Loves LOVES LOVES Regis and Kelly...

She even brings us recordings when she visits to show us.

Is concerned about her grandkids...

She once yelled at my cousin in law "quit fucking cussing in front of the damn babies!!" (said at the dinner table.... In front of the "damn babies").

Loves going to the post office...

She consistently sends us things that cost more to ship than purchase.

Is interested in her sons colleagues...

She is convinced that since he is in the Army that he knows EVERYONE in the Army.

Loves to share recipes...

Especially for things I have cooked for her in the past. :(

Tries to spot celebrities...

She is convinced that ANY bus or RV on the interstate may be carrying famous people... Even the ones that say greyhound.

Once tried to give me....

Her used bras.

Is great at social gatherings...

She NEVER stands awkwardly in the distance staring and not talking to anyone.... And she NEVER got a bunch of kids drunk at a wedding reception by putting jello shots (yeah... Jello shots!) next to the cookies on the dessert table. NEVER...

likes to share her love of cooking...

She has given us no less than three (3) fondue pots over the past 4 years.

once mailed us...

A box full of empty CD cases.

used to be one tough cookie...

She CLAIMS to have once smashed a car up with a baseball bat in a fit of rage (her own car), stabbed someone with a fork (her sister), and shot someone (we don't know who that was). Now she is too scared to drive on the interstate.

encourages me to be a "good wife"...

When I was about 6 months pregnant with our first son, my MIL was kind enough to give me a pamphlet (circa. 1955) that explained that I need to reapply my makeup shortly before my husband gets home from work and make sure that my hair is done appropriately....... She had highlighted that part of it for me. :)

appreciates art...

At the YMCA in our old town there is a huge mural on the wall in the pool area. She stood at the windows for an hour staring at it. When my husband got out of the pool she asked him why the man climbing the rock wall by the pool was not moving.

enjoys a good party...

In fact, the first time I met her she had soooo much fun she peed on herself and passed out drunk. I think that last game of flip cup did it for her....

likes to re-purpose things...

Was upset that I did not feel the strong urge to use a green bowling ball bag from the 1970s as my diaper bag for my first born child.....

is an avid gardener...

Her neighbors went out of town. She was kind enough to go to their house and plant fake flowers in their yard (without their knowledge). Plastic flowers. In the ground.  ??? Thoughts....

is here....

Quote of the Day: "The only reason they still have Dancing with the Stars on the air is so that maybe one day Cher will come and sit in the audience..... Because she is a very important person." -My MIL (This quote requires no background information because she simply stated this out of the blue while we are all eating dinner.)